


Red Like Roses (Phan)

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 23:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3588327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Red Like Roses Pt. 2</p>
<p>(Please comment/kudos or whatever. Thanks!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Like Roses (Phan)

No one expected Dan's suicide.

It was night time just a few hours earlier Phil had watched him laugh into the cool night. His breath foggy, and illuminated by the stop light. His laugh was red like roses.

It was normal and no one had seen it, especially not Phil.

It was almost too normal of a night; Dan and Phil went out to eat and came home and they told each other goodnight and Phil fell asleep.

That was, until he awoke to something feeling very very wrong. His stomach turned as Phil flipped over the covers, getting up and crossing to Dan's room. 

As soon as he entered Dan's room, a metallic smell filled his nose.

"Dan?" Phil called, in a shaky voice. In the back of his mind, Phil knew what had happened.

Phil slowly walked towards the bed which had a note on it. 

Trembling, Phil read it.

"I know you're broken down by anger and sadness;   
You feel I left you in a world that's full of madness.   
Wish I could talk to you, if only for a minute;   
Make you understand the reasons why I did it.   
I wanna tell you that you're all that ever mattered;   
Want you to know that, for eternity, I'm shattered.   
I tried so hard just to protect you, but I failed to,   
And in a prison of abandonment I've jailed you.   
I never planned that I would leave you there alone,   
I was sure that I would see you when I made it back home.   
And all the times I swore that it would be okay;   
Now I'm nothing but a liar, and you're thrown into the fray.  
This bedtime story ends with misery ever after,   
the pages are torn, and there's no final chapter.   
I didn't have a choice, I did what I had to do;   
I made a sacrifice, but forced a bigger sacrifice on you.   
I know you've lived a nightmare; I caused you so much pain.   
But, baby, please don't do what I did;   
I don't want you to waste your life in vain."

And Phil was crying now because he knew exactly what the metallic smell was and why the bathroom light was on and he couldn't hear Dan anymore. Trembling hands, Phil slowly tiptoed towards the bathroom.

"Please tell me this is just some kind of joke, Dan," Phil whispered to himself, approaching the bathroom. Phil looked.

All Phil saw was red like roses, pouring from Dan's wrists. Phil couldn't move.

Phil choked on his own tears, sobbing. He didn't dare enter the bathroom.

Shaking like a leaf, Phil absentmindedly walked into the kitchen and phoned the paramedics. They arrived shortly.

 

Dan was dead.

 

A week later was Dan's funeral.

Phil had spent the week moping around the flat, organizing all of Dan's stuff into boxes. 

But Phil couldn't make himself go into Dan's room. Because that would simply hurt too much. But now Phil was standing in front of the closed casket, and he knew that he would never see Dan's laugh again, red like roses.

Time moved in slow motion the next month. Phil felt lonelier than ever, but promised himself that he wouldn't do what Dan did.

Only because Dan asked him too.

On a sunny day, Phil finally visited Dan's grave.

Phil brought red roses and his own note, but not suicide. He figured that if Dan could still somehow exist, then he should know this.

Phil couldn't find his voice as he sat down, placing the note and flowers on the ground.

The note read, "I couldn't take it, couldn't stand another minute;   
Couldn't bear another day without you in it.   
All of the joy that I had known for all of my life.   
Was stripped away from me the minute that you died.   
To have you in my life was all I ever wanted,   
But now without you I'm a soul forever haunted.   
Can't help feel that I had taken you for granted;   
No way in Hell that I can ever comprehend this.  
I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone,   
I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong.  
How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay?   
Now I'm trapped inside a nightmare every single f'ing day.   
It's like a movie, but there's not a happy ending;   
Every scene fades black, and there's no pretending.   
This little fairy tale doesn't seem to end well,   
There's no knight in shining armor who will wake me from the spell.  
I know you didn't plan this;   
You tried to do what's right.   
But in the middle of this madness,   
I'm the one you left to win this fight.

Red like roses

Fills my head with dreams and finds me

Always closer

To the emptiness and sadness

That has come to take the place of you."


End file.
